About this site

This site is mostly a place to find my articles (use the links on the left), which, generally, are a written form of many of the observations and theories which I share with the patients in my private practice.

I have grown and learned a lot in my fifty years in practice. My curiosity and creativity, which I consider my greatest assets, have allowed me to develop my own theories about why all of us react and behave the way we do and about how our earliest childhood experiences so totally determine who and what we will become.

I have decided now, at the encouragement and urging of my patients, my family and my friends, that I want to share what I have discovered in the hopes that people I could not possibly see as private patients could benefit from my approach.

So, what will this site consist of?

As I begin to consider how to share my views on the dynamics of human behavior and the effects of experience on our emotional, inner life (and, clearly, on our daily experience of ourselves and others), I have selected issues which have brought thousands of patients into my office seeking relief.

Essentially, my approach to treatment begins with demystification (helping the patients understand why they react and behave as they do.) However, understanding is not enough. There is an old analytic joke that has a patient observe, “Before treatment, I was messed up and I didn’t know why. Now, I know why, but I’m still messed up. Big deal!”

The only way to eliminate living on automatic pilot is to make the unconscious conscious and this happens through demystification. There is an existential question that asks, “How does one unlearn the taste of an orange?” Once you have tasted an orange, you have been changed. You can never not know the taste of an orange.

Therefore, once the unconscious becomes conscious, we have an awareness that short circuits our automatic responses. Now the patients know what they are doing and why.

I have found that Fear is the basis for most of the issues that bring people into therapy. Whether they come in because they are experiencing anxiety, depression, low self esteem, or difficulty in personal and work relationships, the common thread always leads back to Fear. What people are amazed to discover is that their adult emotional life is being driven by the fears instilled in childhood. Within the adult, the child’s fears continue to live and have a strong influence on his feelings and reactions. The child’s fears control the adult.

We are all prisoners of the messages we got in childhood. In therapy, we question these messages and, in doing so, free ourselves of the constrictions and limitations imposed upon us by the often erroneous demands imposed on us as children.

The articles that appear on this site are reflections of these messages.
News and Announcements

Sunday, May 3, 2009
New Article Posted: Then What?

Yearning for relief from the constraints of our routines, many of us fail to consider what we will experience next. This article looks at the challenge of “Freedom from” and the need to plan for “Freedom to”.

Monday, December 29, 2008
New Article Posted: Our Bipolar Society
The highs and lows of our society have many similarities to the wild fluctuations of mood in a person who suffers from what used to be called Manic Depression but is now referred to as Bipolar Disorder. Take a look at this article and see if you agree. Our Bipolar Society.

Friday, December 19, 2008
New Article Posted: Prisoner of the Past

This article, as the title implies, describes how the experiences of our past determine who we become as adults, and how the the coping mechanisms we develop as little children become the basis of our personalities. It contains references to some of the ideas in my other articles, such as the Good Kid Syndrome but puts several other ideas into perspective. This might be a good one to read first (if you are a new visitor) or one that might help to reinforce some of my basic theories after reading a few more specific articles. Let me know what you think of this one.